Blessing with our Words

 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29-31)

There is great power in words. The power of words can heal and bring hope,[1] or it can squash and destroy someone.[2] Proverbs says that the tongue has the power to give or to take life. (18:20) That’s mighty powerful! Indeed, we can hurt someone for the rest of their lives by the things we say.

Children sure can say some hurtful things. Sometimes, so can parents. Most of us probably have some deep-seated memories of hurtful things said by people we should have been able to trust when we were children. I remember some incidents when I was about eleven years old that have affected my self-image for my entire life. I’m guessing that you do, too.

James says that it is not natural for both fresh water and bitter water to come from the same spring. But it seems to be all too natural for our tongues to bless someone in one moment, and then turn around and curse someone in the next. (see James 3:10-11) Of course, sometimes we bless and curse the same person. But more often, what I see is that we sidle up to Bob while talking with him, but put down Barney, because he isn’t there to hear it. But to Barney’s face, we only say positive things. As James would say, “Brethren, these things ought not be so.”

I’m going to issue a challenge for us today. This may be one of the biggest challenges for some of us to date: I challenge us to purpose to speak ONLY words of blessing for one week. That means no gossip about another person. It means no sarcastic, critical remarks about our children when talking with other parents. It means no insulting, critical things said about teachers. It means that we will only say what is useful for encouraging and building up others. (see 1 Corinthians 14 and Ephesians 4:29.)

In Ecclesiastes is one of the most unusual little sayings. It has slipped into common usage as a cliché, but in its original form, it is powerful and significant. “Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird of the air may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.” (Ecclesiastes 10:20) If only we would always bless, and always tell the truth, we would never have to worry about someone finding out something we said, and when we ask them where they heard it, they say, “A little bird told me.”

Of course, this applies to speaking well of our president. It also is important to speak well of the police, of school administrators, of your boss and the executives at your workplace, of your parents, and of the church elders. (“Do not touch the Lord’s anointed,” says the Word.) But it also applies to your friends and neighbors (Jesus said that anyone who hates his brother, says to him ‘Raca,’ or calls him a fool is in danger of hell.), to your co-workers, to your children and employees. It even applies to your enemies! (Jesus told us many times to bless our enemies, but we tend to ignore that command.) In short, there is NO EXCUSE for ever cursing someone, slandering them, gossiping about them, or in any way using our tongue for anything other than healing.[3]

If we don’t keep our consciences clear in regard to our tongues, we can shipwreck our very faith. Paul told Timothy to “hold on to faith and a good conscience,” which some have rejected and have “shipwrecked their faith.” (1 Timothy 1:19) So, for the sake of a clear conscience, for the sake of a strong faith, for the sake of God’s reputation, let’s together pledge to bless with our lips for one week. Maybe we’ll like it so much we’ll make it a lifetime habit! When we do, God will be pleased and He will have a pleasant home in which to dwell!

Blessing with our Words, part two

So, how did you do this past week blessing with your mouth? If you were like me, you were sensitized to just how often you say negative things. After failing three times before you even got home from church, you pretty much gave up on the idealistic project of living for a whole week with only blessing.

If you are like me, you noticed how often you speak sarcastically, and how cynical you are. You noticed how often you tend to complain (good-naturedly, of course) about everything, from the Bengals (who mercifully had a bye week—see, there I go again!) and the weather to people in other churches and closer to home. As James says, “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.” (James 3:2)

However, if you are like me, you also noticed something good happen in your heart this week. You recognized those moments when you were tempted to speak ill of someone or something, and you checked yourself from letting that thought develop enough to come out of your mouth. You have a few defeats and dozens of small victories.

Here is the bottom line from that challenge: God will never bless us, no matter how much we ask Him to, while we continue to harbor negative thoughts and words ourselves. The key to revival is to bless with our tongues, to build others up with our words, and to heal with our mouths. I want God’s blessed Spirit to reside in me, and among us. And I think that after this week, I am willing to pay the price for it. As I wrote last week, when we do, God will be pleased and He will have a pleasant home in which to dwell!